Monday, July 5, 2010

Paul the Octopus and 2010 the Python, answers to the world's problems

Who needs soccer strategists, coaches and technical advisers to push a world cup team to success when you have 2010, the 2,8 metre long, Cape Town based Burmese Python and her sangoma (spirit medium) handler? Who needs staticians, bookies and soccer analysts to predict soccer results when you have Paul the German octopus who so far has successfully predicted all of Germany's victories in the world cup, according to the owners of the Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium which Paul calls home?

While it is not clear how exactly 2010 is able to connect with the ancestral spirits to request their intervention in the outcome of soccer matches, what is clear is that the python's owner has had a fair share of paying clients eager to enlist his services. It is a pity that the poor reptile was found by the SPCA in a state of dehydration, mouth rot, malnutrition and pneumonia. Fortunately the SPCA's vets are taking care of that. This should however not cast any shadows of doubt on the legitimacy of the supernatural powers of the snake and her owner. Do not at any point believe that those who have paid money, for the services of the python have done so in vain or that they are lacking brain matter. Do not question how the snake's owner has been able to satisfy requests from fans who obviously support different teams and all want their teams to win.

What you ought to do is wish 2010 a speedy recovery and good care so that she lives long to help the world with all of its problems. The possibilities are endless. By digging a little deeper in our pockets, we could invest in a better future in which the snake ensures that there is no war, disease or poverty on our planet. We could get her to influence elections so that only those leaders that the masses really want, are voted for. Other sports and games such as American football, golf, wrestling and even good old scrabble could be influenced by the spirits through our amazing python.

For those that believe in fate and are wary of interfering with the forces of destiny, Paul the octopus could at least help them to prepare for that destiny by foretelling what is to happen in the future. Again the possibilities are infinite. Imagine being able to predict the occurrence of hurricanes and earthquakes that at times elude meteorologists and seismologists and which no one has thought of asking 2010 to prevent! The police would have their work cut out for them as Paul could inform them in advance, of planned crimes before they have been committed. Elections results could be known before elections though a system has to be devised to prevent the losers from tempering with democracy by paying 2010 to reverse the future loss! Do not underestimate the impact that Paul's wisdom could have. The octopus is after all not rated one of the most intelligent sea creatures for nothing.

Does anyone else also wish that such discoveries were made long ago before the world became such a big bad world? Better late than never they say, so let us be grateful to the captors of Paul and 2010. Those that accuse them of being money chasing scam artists, need to remember that a financial reward is the least that can be done to say thank you for a job well done. The sterling job of sharing with the world the wonderful secrets of an astounding reptile and equally outstanding mollusk.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps such things should be allowed by FIFA just to spice up the mood. I felt sorry 4 nigeria or was it ivory coast, whom their "lucky chicken" was denied to enter Moses Mabhida stadium.


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