Monday, May 17, 2010

Woman + Woman = Cat Fight

At the risk of earning the cliched title of "male chauvenist pig, " I must say observing ladies interacting socially as a group can at times turn out to be the witnessing of a mini war. What strikes a strange chord for me is the natural, built-in, almost childish rivalry that exists among those of the fairer gender over issues that are not issues at all.

I had a good laugh the other day when I was told of three ladies that met one afternoon for lunch. One of the ladies, a hairdresser, had a few days before styled one of the other ladies' hair. Upon meeting for lunch, the friend whose hair had not been recently styled, exhibited a foul and cold mood throughout the lunch date. Her friends could not make heads or tails as to the origins of this unexpected demeanour and the truth only revealed itself to the hairdresser when the lady with the new hairstyle left the restaurant before her two friends. The issue was that the one without a new hairstyle had not liked the fact that her friend had a new, attractive hairstyle, and she did not! Although she had not said a word to compliment her friend on a lovely hairdo, as soon as she was alone with the hairdresser all she could rave about was the amazing hairdo! She begged the hair stylist for a similar but not so obvious imitation. Wow, how is that for friendship?

I am sure as you read this, you will have amusing tales of your own that you are encouraged to share as a comment. Tales of how cat fights in the office, church, and other unusual battlefields have evolved from thin air and have at times swelled into bitter feuds that eventually drag many other people along. The causes of conflict usually stem from rivalry over things like clothing and other fashion related matters, accusations and counter accusations of arrogance ("She looks at me as if the Earth revolves aound her"), all the way up to who gets more attention and love from the male species.

Once again I will risk sounding stereotypical and sexist and say that two ladies of similar backgrounds and status, in the same territory for a prolonged period of time, are like oil and water. This is the direct opposite of men who seem to get along better socially in the absence of ladies. Guys just don't have as many, "issues," with each other as girls do. I am not out to have a go at the ladies and am sure there are many ladies out there who can testify to what I am saying. I actually admire women for their strength, organisation and wisdom which outstrips that of men in most issues. These are normally issues of substance such as ensuring the smooth and efficient running of households, yet the irony is that this weakness, this Achilles heel that I am talking about, manifests itself on issues that are trivial! Someone explain please!


  1. Each to their own, I think (guys and gals). I suspect that women find what men talk about, in the absence of women, just as trivial as what men find what women talk about.

    I don't think I'm one of these women you describe, but do think I can understand it, and I just accept it. It's not only a difference of sexes, but perhaps also related to how one has been brought up, who one hangs out with, and finding friends with similar interests (that determines how one acts and speaks when in the company of a group of the same sex.)

  2. Teresa I agree with you that guys also engage in trivial talk and behaviour but a guy is unlikely to get his hair in knots just because his friend bought the same suit as he did, or because someone paid the friend a compliment not him!As you say there are ladies who are beyond that but most I think have an element of it, at varying levels


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