Video refereeing not raunchy enough for kinky Sepp Blatter!

Why should FIFA godfather Sepp Blatter choose to debate with the world, far from stimulating topics such as the introduction of video technology and goal line technology in soccer, when he could be debating more raunchy topics such as ladies in sexy suspenders, tight shorts and low cut shirts?




Sepp has apologized to Mexico and England over their heart rending world cup experiences borne out of the short comings of the human factor in refereeing. Indeed we witnessed genuine goals being denied and ghost goals being awarded to teams in the world cup. Although Blatter has promised that FIFA will have a rethink on the issue of video and goal line technology, which could see replays being used to correct or confirm tricky decisions and determining electronically if the ball indeed crossed the line, his promises are rather on the lukewarm side. He seems to lean more on promising to improve the human factor and my guess is that soccer will for some time to come, lag behind rugby, cricket, basketball, tennis and other sports that have embraced technology. The argument that video technology will slow down the pace of the game does not hold water because at the moment the referee still has to spend time consulting his assistants when in doubt and electronic feedback on a disputed goal for example, would take less time than is currently spent by players arguing about the goal.




Why then are Sepp Blatter , UEFA president Michael Platini and others, against progressive change? For one; they are from the old school, so I guess they are clinging on to the traditional ways of the game. Methods of play, player fitness, foot wear, match balls and playing surfaces, have greatly evolved, so it is time this fact was considered. If all these areas of soccer have gone hi-tech, it makes no sense that the administrators should still insist on Fred Flintstone type of refereeing methods.




Another not so obvious but highly possible explanation could lie in the sometimes overlooked historical nature of Sepp Blatter. In the early 1970s he is reported to have been the president of an organisation known as the World Society of Friends of Suspenders and their mission was to stop women from replacing suspender belts with pantyhose! Talk about a raunchy cause! Even as head of FIFA, Blatter has in the past shown his kinky side by saying that the outfits of female soccer players should be changed so as to be more pleasing to the eager male eye and therefore attract more male fans for women’s soccer. He advocated that such a change of gear should be in the form of tight shorts and low cut shirts!




So our answer might be right there. All this talk about technology is just not sexy or raunchy enough for an elderly but virile and kinky stud such as Blatter. I am willing to bet a dime or two that deep down, Mr. FIFA must have been drooling at the mini dress clad, thigh exposing Bavaria Babes that took the world cup by storm with their sexy brand of ambush advertising! So you want video replays in soccer? It might be worth a shot to propose it for ladies’ soccer, after having introduced bikini oufits for the players and lady referees in suspenders belts and cleavage revealing tops! It will probably be then, that video and goal line technology will flow thick and fast!
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Overcoming those noisy neighbour blues- Part II

Today we look at more options that you have in salvaging your long lost sleep which fell victim to your noisy neighbour and his or her band of merry men. One reader in response to yesterday’s post, suggested joining the party. Yes it is said, “If you can’t beat them join them” but not in such a scenario. You will never fit into your neighbour’s social habits because your drinking skills, dance moves, vociferousness, and tolerance to hard drugs either do not exist or are of no match to these seasoned revellers. Another complication might be that your partner will not take too kindly to you fraternising with party freaks from next door, lest you lose that innocence that you have worked so hard to pretend you have. The third disadvantage of going this route is that your neighbour’s guests will automatically become your future guests as well. Put in another way, your home will no longer be just for you and your sweetheart.

A better option is to invite your neighbour for supper or a drink at your place. While chatting, you must then cook up a tale about how you had visitors last night who came to watch the world cup soccer match between Spain and Honduras. Say how you apologise for their screams of “Feel it, it is here,” and, “Ayoba! ” which you are sure must have awoken him at the very late hour of nine p.m when half the world was in dreamland already. For extra punch, you might have to say how you support the calls for FIFA to ban the vuvuzela because the bloody things are maddeningly noisy!. Hopefully this act of yours will convince your neighbour that normal people do not blow vuvuzelas and they are in bed, asleep, by nine oclock. Make sure that your vuvuzela is not visible for the duration of this visit.

You could also mention that you overheard the caretaker talking to someone about how the chap who lives at the far end of the complex is an undercover cop at the drugs and narcotics squad and is on the verge of arresting drug junkies who frequent the area.. Your neighbour will reassure you that he was also watching the soccer and nine o’clock is not late. Stick to your guns and be even more apologetic for the inconvenience that your “visitors” caused last night. If this does not not bring remorse and the required change of behaviour, then you are left with the options which I will give in tomorrow’s final post on this topic…(to be continued)

Bare Thighs, Blonde Babes and Bavaria Beer- A Big Headache for Blatter's Boys

Many men watching the Netherlands-Denmark world cup match on the 15th of June, ogled, drooled, lusted, you name it, over the thirty- six thigh baring, mini dress clad blonde beauties who gave them a “feast,” for the eyes a quarter way into the match. Testosterone levels, already ignited by the soccer buzz must have sky rocketed! Even TV viewers got a share of the action, thanks to the TV crews that wasted no time in zooming in on these ladies who peeled off their Danish supporters’ clothes, to reveal short orange coloured dresses with tiny Bavaria Beer (Dutch beer brand) labels strategically placed by the bottom hems of the outfits. Many are probably disappointed right now that this “eye candy,” that they drooled over was a once off and will not be a sight to behold in future matches to be played by the Netherlands!

World news reports have informed us over the past few days that these women (two of them Dutch and the rest South African) were booted out of the stadium and questioned by the police. The Dutch ladies Barbara Castelein and Mirte Nieuwpoort are now facing criminal charges of “Ambush world cup marketing,” which means illegal advertising that piggy backs on the world cup event for free. FIFA are also suing the Dutch beer company Bavaria for allegedly sponsoring these women to travel to South Africa to engineer this campaign.

While some of us see this as much-a-do about nothing, Sepp Blatter’s boys are frothing at the mouth and to an extent they are justified. Companies such as the world cup’s official beer supplier Budweiser, have footed millions of dollars in sponsorship and advertising deals to FIFA, so advertising is not about to be handed out as a freebie to Bavaria when other companies are paying top dollar for it. There are however some loopholes that I have observed as I have been following the story. These could work against FIFA and the South African government in their fight against Bavaria.

Although it is common knowledge back in Holland that the orange mini dress is a marketing tool in Bavaria’s adverts and comes with the eight pack of their beer, it will be hard to prove that these women were indeed out to market for Bavaria. Bavaria will claim that it is not responsible for their customers wearing their promotional outfits which are after all not labelled in huge easily recognisable letters. They have said orange is the colour of choice in Holland and FIFA does not hold a monopoly over the colour. One wonders if a crowd of kwaito or pantsula dancers from the townships were to rock up at a world cup match dressed in their trademark All Star trainers or Ama Kip Kip T-shirts, would the alliance of FIFA and the South African Police Service (SAPS) pounce on them for ambush advertising? I am sure the ladies in orange are not the only ones who have come to the stadium dressed in non affiliated gear. Is the law selectively applied only to those who have the capacity to swell the coffers of FIFA? Food for thought.

The two Dutch women have allegedly been roughly handled by the police and Dutch authorities have raised concern about this. The fact that the other thirty-four South African blondes have not been charged along with these two, will surely exacerbate this governmental friction. To what extent is the South African government going to enforce its SA Merchandise Marks Act without causing a diplomatic row?

The way I see it, FIFA and the police have sensationalised the issue and in the process are shooting themselves in the foot. Had they escorted the women from the stadium quietly and served them with a warning, the story would not have spread like wild fire. Bavaria could have been quietly but sternly told off and informed of pending legal action without the angry comments that have been thrown to the press. The full force legal battle would then have been fought after the world cup. In the meantime, Budweiser who have the official right to advertise their beer at the world cup could come up with their own answer to the babes in orange, a hotter, sexier and more lasting sales pitch than the short lived Bavarian promotion.

This lack of a cool, calm and collected approach and too much focus on the women who are mere pawns in this game, have served to make these women martyrs in the public eye. They presently appear as victims of overly harsh punishment for carrying out a naughty but harmless gimmick. What better advertising for Bavaria than this? I am sure that with the ways events have turned out, many a hot blooded male fan is sulking at how the girls in the minis have been treated and is bound to drown his sorrows in a mug of Bavaria.

Are Blatter & Co. gold plating the truth about the gold in the world cup?

It is world cup mania out here in South Africa and without realising it; many of my online moments seem to be steering towards world cup related content. Talk about being swept by a tidal wave! In a recent piece on Mthoko Says… , Mthoko dealt with the topic of celebrity worship, and made a somewhat cynical comment about how people have stood in queues for hours with the aim of catching a glimpse of the FIFA World Cup that might not be the real thing and which does not resemble a cup in the conventional sense.

Well having said that, it was interesting to read an article on the BBC website about British scientist Martyn Poliakoff, who has calculated that if the World Cup trophy was really solid gold it would be too heavy for footballers to lift as it would weigh not less than 70kg. Other science boffins also confirm that gold had a very high density, hence the logical explanation is that the top (ball) part of the Jules Rimet Trophy - (FIFA World Cup) is either hollow or filled with a lighter metal.

Does this make FIFA’s claim that it is solid gold nothing more than gold plated truth? It is impossible to argue with the chemists because the density of gold is a proven scientific fact. The best that we can do for Blatter and Co. is to give them the benefit of the doubt. These men have been good to us, bringing this great competition to Africa at last. Let us therefore not ask too many questions and assume that by using the term “Solid,” they refer to the solid piece of gold that was used to make the golden parts of the cup. Semantics would then have crept in to create this confusion that has led us to misinterpret it to mean that the whole trophy is a solid lump of gold. Blatter is after all not a native English speaker, nor were the Italian designers of the cup. How is that for benefit of the doubt? Mthoko refuses to be drawn into irresponsible claims that FIFA are liars who peddle exaggerated statements to market and glorify their tournament!

Does it matter what the cup is manufactured from? To a certain extent, there is some appeal and prestige in lifting a cup that is all gold. The thought of a steel core or a hollow space full of air is not very flattering. Ultimately though it is the blood, sweat and tears that go with preparing for the tournament, the many experiences on and off the field and the total world cup experience that make the Jules Rimet a priceless token of victory. Despite Poliakoff’s theories, many more Pashasha moments are bound to be witnessed for a long time to come!

Fifa and friends outplayed in the Zhing Zhong war

The South African Revenue Service, FIFA and the South African Police are currently playing cat in the feline versus cat game, the mice being the thousands of street merchandisers selling fake replicas of World Cup soccer jerseys and other regalia. To date millions of Rands worth of World Cup shirts have been confiscated, but millions worth of more are finding their way into the parallel market.

I am no economist but what I know is that it is only the minority that will always settle for quality and originality at whatever cost For the majority of the populace, it is the power of the wallet that speaks. What the stakeholders such as Addidas, the South African Football association, SARS and FIFA should be evaluating is whether it is a worthwhile exercise to unlock resources in chasing up the vendors or should they sit down and come up with an economic plan. The same vendors buying and reselling cheap imports would surely love to be selling authentic merchanidise if they could secure it at the right price and sell it at a competitive rate.

At a price tag of between R600 - R800, the authentically licensed Bafana Bafana jersey for example, is out of reach for the majority of soccer loving South African fans. Even for those who can afford it, but are not hard core soccer fanatics, it might make more sense to buy a replica. Admittedly, Addidas has come up with cheaper options such as their soccer T-shirts,but many people are still opting for the fake soccer jersey that is priced at aournd R200, than to buy the similarly priced but less impressive approved T-Shirt. I do not think the argument that the expensive price tag comes with superior quality holds water as some of these “Zhing Zhongs,” are of a similar quality at a fraction of the cost. There difference in price should not be as huge as it is at the moment.

The official producers ought to realise that at times a winner takes it all attitude leads to one being the loser. A win-win scenario in this case is the best option, so gentlemen, how about you play ball?!