Lipstick shopping demystifies Mugabe's aura

So my president has been shopping for some lipstick? How absolutely cute, not to mention sweet! Who ever thought we would ever see the softer, feminine side of our beloved Bob Mugabe? It must be true that underneath every tough exterior, there is always a supressed softie, itching to come out!


Anyone who has seen the siren blasting presidential motorcade (nicknamed Bob and the Wailers) whisking down the highways of Harare, will testify as the almost surreal image that the Zimbabwean president portrays. The sight of Zim 1, his Mercedes S600 Pullman limo speeding at breakneck speed, encircled by a convoy of motorbikes, armoured cars, trucks and ambulances, almost convinces one that he is untouchable and invincible. On top of that, media footage of him eloquently denouncing his foes, giving George Bush and others the middle finger makes him appear as the quissentential tough cookie.


It is therefore quite ironic that despite having stringent security measures, Mugabe recently found himself trapped in a New York drugstore, at the mercy of a lone protesting customer. Even more ironic is that all this happened in the USA, a country where he is not welcome and can only enter if he is visiting the UN. Add also to that, the fact that a man ranked high on the merciless world dictators' list was lipstick shopping and you have the ingredients of an unexpected thriller, its plot rich in twists and turns.


We as men tend to underestimate the power of woman. We avoid buying clothing and cosmetics for our loved ones because nine and a half times out of ten, we buy the wrong thing or can never seem to shop in the right place that has in stock what we were instructed to buy. For a man who will think nothing of brushing aside a supreme court order, a SADC tribunal desicion, or a United Nations resolution, it becomes interesting to see Mugabe going all out to personally make the lipstick purchase. Unless of course that was a clever decoy and there were more serious purchases made at the drug store (such as life saving drugs), I have to take my hat off to Grace Mugabe or whichever lady is responsible for this unexpected retail adventure!

Gideon the sanctions buster or inflation booster?

Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank governor Dr. Gideon Gono is definitely one of the controversial figures to emerge in the world of finance and politics.


A quick glance at his website www.gideongono.com reveals that the guv is a learned man of many achievements who was even wooed by the Bush administration to take up the post of Senior Vice- President of the World Bank.


Many of us will surely take that claim with a pinch of salt, though he also confesses that it made no sense to him either. He is after all, high on the "baddies list," compiled by the Americans.


Away from his website and state media reports, he is spoken of in less flattering terms. Here is a man made infamous by allegations of tinkering with unknown and unsound economic principles, over stepping the finance and other ministries to rechannel state funds and printing sky loads of money leading to "hyper-hyper" inflation.


Having been unilaterally re-appointed as Central Bank Guv last year in spite of the SADC brokered Global Politic Agreement that requires a joint Zanu-MDC appointment, the doc says he might step down if the West removes sanctions imposed on him and his peers. He said in a recent interview that he was appointed as a "sanctions buster" and therefore his tenure in office depends on whether the sanctions have been removed or not!


Rather comical some would say seeing as he has not over the years "busted" any of the so called sanctions and must now use his own seat as leverage. A far cry from the war tactics associated with the name Gideon would it not seem?


One would have expected that like his Biblical namesake, he has been blessed with a small but divinely strengthened army to take on and defeat the mighty Americans! His number two in command seems to be in the news as well for his own brand of "sanctions busting" involving a recent farm takeover. Now that's more like it!


As for the guv the title of "Inflation Booster," appears to steal the limelight from "Sanctions Buster!"

And so SADC met

So the much awaited SADC summit proved to be much a do about nothing.


I for one did not expect anything more than the usual back patting and empty rhetoric of some of Africa's so called champions of Uhuru. At the most I predicted the official takeover by young Joe Kabila at the helm of SADC to be the highlight of the party.


Unfortunately some most naive people such as my Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, expected a wave of the magical wand by South Africa's JZ to bring about a post Mbeki policy shift. That done, they hoped that same magical wand would be used to rap naughty Bob on the knuckles. These actions would then result in compliance by Zanu PF to the outstanding issues of the woe begotten Global Political Agreement between Mugabe, Tsvangirai and Mutambara.


Alas, that was not to be, much to the disappointment of the hopefuls. SADC reminds one of other historically toothless bulldogs, such as its sister SADCC, the OAU,the AU, the Non Aligned Movement and even the League of Nations.


Let us not hold our breath awaiting SADC to betray the blood signed code of brotherhood and heed to the calls for sterner action coming from the 'Western blighters."


Even Ian Khama seems to have toned down, he after all has much to be sorry for, what with a British mother and all.