Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Overcoming those noisy neighbour blues- Final Tips

Yesterday we discussed the subtle but potentially effective method of dealing with that noisy demon that you sometimes call neighbour. If the suggestion presented yesterday yields little or no results, an excellent but paradoxically impractical solution is to move to a more peaceful residence. It will save you from insanity that might land you in an asylum as a patient of some weird shrink in a white coat and long strands of nostril hair.

Before you take the drastic step of moving out, try this last ditch attempt. Neatly type a letter which begins “Dear Tenant/As you are aware the regulations of this residence stipulate that noise making is forbidden at all times. All tenants are reminded that they should desist from rowdy behaviour and ensure that their audio visual systems are played at a volume that does not inconvenient fellow tenants…” If you are really fired up, you could also throw in something about late night visitors being discouraged for security reasons. You can also threaten the immediate eviction of those who refuse to follow the regulations. Your neighbour has probably been too busy partying to read the lease agreement in full, hence you can take the liberty of throwing in whatever restrictions and threats you want to. The trick is to maintain a serious, business like tone and register in your communiqué. Slip the note into your neighbour’s mail box then wait and see.

Do not use a fake letterhead, because that might have legal implications. Avoid fake names and individual titles. Simply sign off with the words, “Thank you for your co-operation/Management.” Besides covering your tracks, the whole mystery in identity will have a psychological effect on this hooligan. The most common assumption will be that the letter is from the estate manager under instruction from the property owners or their administrators. Even if your neighbour smells a rat, he is not likely to confront anyone since “the shoe fits.” What he might do however, is to enquire from you and other tenants about the letter. Make sure that you and a few others in your block have also “received” the same letter. You can then all express alarm and commit yourselves to adhering to regulations.

I trust that this will be a solution to your problems and hopefully you will not have to do something as drastic as moving to another home. Here is wishing you lots of snooze filled nights, enjoy them for you will have fought hard for them!

1 comment:

  1. lol, these suggestions are hilarious but i guess they work. i just resorted to moving to a more peaceful neighbourhood. i am enjoying the serinity of it all, though transportation and time were a hustle, it was all worth the comfort. its ayoba down here!


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