Monday, November 15, 2010

Why, why, oh why a mouth o' gold?

Am I the only one who seems to think that there is just too much dazzle emanating from people’s mouths nowadays? Simple investigation has revealed that the source of this “oral brilliance” is the increasingly popular gold tooth.

Although I do not usually have any qualms about people showing off their “bling,” this is one of those fashion related phenomena that always leads me to ask the simple question: “O Why, why, why the mouths o’ gold?” Yes, some of us have gold teeth and caps on our teeth because we have lost all or part of a tooth but for most of us, it is just a fashion statement. If you have seen the likes of Nelly or Lil' Wayne open their jaws, then you will agree that this can be a most unappetising sight, not to mention freakish! I must confess that I especially find the gold grills that cover the whole mouth very freakish. It however is a removable feature so I guess freakish as it is, it might be more tolerable than a permanent fixture, if we are to consider that one day if the grill owner grows up, this hideous contraption can be disposed of.

I put most of the blame for this dental nightmare on the hip-hop culture which has been the leading agent in flaunting a metal mouth as a status and wealth symbol, not to mention an enhancer of looks. The truth is that it serves only to achieve the opposite. Boy, was I shocked when I did a google search and I came across websites such as and! People are making money out there at the expense of misguided souls who have lost faith in having a mouth full of good, old fashioned white enamel!

What saddens me is how it has spread like a veld fire to all the facets of society, old and young, male and female. I would honestly prefer to see someone with teeth naturally gold plated by years of neglecting their teeth, than to see people with bits of metal planted in their mouth. My apologies to any mouth of gold that has taken offence at this blog post, but this is how I see it. Until such a time as a revolutionary turn of the tide sweeps over the world and our metallic mouths see the light, I will have to be content with wearing sunglasses to lessen the oral dazzle!


  1. The only time I considered wearing mouth bling was when I dressed as a pimp for a "Pimp and Ho" party. Even then I didn't opt for doing so. However, all of the other pretend pimps did wear a grill which pretty much sums up what most people think about the act of bedazzling one's mouth. I do have one very classy friend who has a small diamond imbedded in her front tooth and it actually looks rather elegant.

  2. Empress you do not say whether your friend looks like an elegant lady or pretend ho? Guess an embedded diamond wins the day all the time over a gold grill!


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