Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Haunted by evil telephonic sales forces

On Monday evening I was reading a rant by a fellow blogger, The Ranter's Box, about irritating shop attendants who "over-attend" and follow you around the store, stifling your shopping space in the process and making you feel like you are just a common thief. It seems that by posting a comment on that blog post agreeing with the Empress of Rant and promising to share my disdain for telephonic salesmen who are extremely pushy, I invited these evil telephonic forces to haunt me. The very next day my phone rang; unidentified caller I.D of course.

After identifying himself as someone from the Vodacom mobile network and mumbling a name that whizzed past my ears so quickly that I had not the slimmest chance of catching it, he went straight to his pitch. The reason for calling me was to thank me for being such a loyal Vodacom customer who has supported them through my internet data contract. "Wow," I thought as I salivated and mentally retracted the unkind comment that I made on the Ranter's Box. My imagination went overdrive as I salivated and predicted that this beloved caller was about to prove his gratitude by sending me a truckload of free gigabytes, a laptop or even a trip to some exotic getaway.

Talk about Mthoko being naive! The only reward being offered for my faithful patronage was an additional cellphone contract! The blighter was thanking me by wanting to dig deep digger into my pocket! What absolute cheek, I thought as I outwardly humoured him and let him go on for about ten minutes describing the package to me, the many free minutes and the features of this super-duper smartphone. At one point I had to put my cellphone down for a minute because I needed to stretch my arms which were feeling rather stiff. I got back to my caller in time to hear him tell me how he intends to courier the cellphone to me and would like to know if I am available at work or at home between 8am and 5pm on weekdays. He also read out my work details, address and other information that he wanted me to confirm.

It was at that point that I reminded him that I had not committed myself to any contract so there was no need for me to comment on any of my details. Suddenly the man who had rambled on like an auctioneer kept silent as I politely proceeded to point out that I had no way of knowing if he wasn't a criminal, hence I will not say if I am usually at home or at work on weekdays. He tried to justify himself and prove that he really was a Vodacom telesalesman who merely wanted to "thank me!" It was at that point that I decided to remove the kid gloves and go for the jagular. I told him that it was with deep regret that I had to decline his offer and had he given me a chance fifteen minutes ago to speak, I would have told him that I am not ready to commit myself to any new contract while still on the current one. That did the trick and I was free from the clutches of the evil force; for how long though, I do not know.

I still await the call from a lady from a local furniture shop who calls me after every three months to ask if I need new furniture just because I purchased a lounge suite from her last year. The last time that I checked, furniture buying habits differ vastly from grocery shopping trends. This not so obvious bit of economics will have to be explained to her. I must say, this time I am prepared to deal with her once and for all!


  1. Is it possible to get on a "do not call" list? This helps get rid of some of that solicitation nonsense. I always tell anyone that I have an account with that I do not want marketing calls. If they call me for anything (other than me owing them money) then I will cancel my account with them. As for that pesky bird over at the furniture store, ask her if there are quality issues with their merchandise because you notice she is calling you on a rather frequent and UNWANTED basis. I'd instruct her to please stop with the stalking or else you will no longer patronize her store in the future.


  2. "The blighter was thanking me by wanting to dig deep digger into my pocket! "

    LMAO!!! Great Post!

  3. @Tony many thanks
    @Empress, I thought I had said I do not want to be contacted for marketing purposes, but is it a bit hazy. Your suggestions have been noted!

  4. The furniture store people know they have sold you shoddy goods, and that there are several cracks in the upholstery, and broken springs creeping through the lounge suite to embarrass you by pricking your visitors in the bum.

    Therefore you should be in the market for anew one.

  5. Lol Steve for the amount that I paid it had better not be shoddy. I think its because I paid cash for the rather pricey suite. She now thinks I am awash with funds, not realising that it is not the case. I could have just secured a cheaper credit line elsewhere, or I could have saved for a year or two!


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