Saturday, October 22, 2011

Breaking News: UN bans Please Call Me SMSes

Please Call Me messages to become a thing of the past

Breaking news: World leaders at a UN Convention have passed a resolution to fast track  new laws in their countries, banning the free Please Call Me sms service that many of their cellphone network providers offer. The new laws will compel network providers to remove this service from their systems and in its place implement a Please Call Me - It's an Emergency sms system. 

Under the new system, subscribers will only be able to send free messages asking the recipients to call them back only if it is an emergency. Should it be found that there has been an abuse of this service and there is no emergency, offenders will face punitive measures that range from hefty fines, lengthy prison terms and life bans on cellphone usage.

Briefing journalists on what motivated this unexpected resolution, some of the UN General Assembly leaders pointed out that an undesirable breed of Please Call Me fanatics had developed and these needed to be culled before their mutation spread and became a worldwide plague. People with sufficient credit to call their friends and colleagues or with sufficient money to buy it, were resorting to Please Call Me's to avoid spending money. The unfortunate recipients of these call me requests were calling back only to discover that they were being taken advantage of. It has been declared a gross violation of human rights to prompt people to spend their airtime credit to call you, yet you are the one who needs their assistance and should therefore be the one calling them. 

The alternative Please Call Me - Its an Emergency system, will ensure that only genuine and important Call Me requests are sent. Analysts see the proposed punitive measures as a sufficient deterrent to ward off offenders. As news spreads of these new worldwide developments, cellphone users have been reported to be at either the high echelons of jubilation or the lowest depths of disgust, depending on whether they are victims or offenders.

For further information on the implementation of these laws in your country, contact your communications department or mobile network provider.

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