Meet the Gucci clad, BMW driving dirty pig

Ever heard of a breed of pig that drives a 3-series BMW and wears an expensive Gucci suit? Well I also didn't know that there was such a breed until I witnessed it with my own eyes this afternoon. This pig who probably goes by the name of Mr. Porky or Mr Grunt (I didn't get a clear view of the personalised number plate). Initially I thought it was man and what first caught my attention was the fancy new car, then as he parked and stepped out, his expensive designer suit. At that stage nothing was amiss. I was after all observing what I thought was one of South Africa's "black diamonds."


The next occurance also caught my attention but triggered a sense of disgust in me. The Gucci clad pig reached into the interior of his flashy BMW and produced a white disposable plate and its plastic wrappings, then dropped that right onto the tarmac next to his car! Having fed himself of some takeaway or the other, he was obviously too blotted to worry that he was littering right in the CBD! It was at that point that my admiration for his swanky taste in cars and clothes vanished, as horror quickly and effortlessly replaced my admiration. Not all that glitters is a black diamond. At the point realisation sank in that this was not a human being and certainly not a diamond. Lo and behold this creature disguised convincingly as a human being was actually a pig, a hog, a boar, swine, or whichever synonym tickles your toes!


I should have had the courage to confront him (should i be saying it?) about how a big shot like him could stoop to such low, disgusting and unhygienic traits. Maybe it was an act of great cowardice on my part not to ask him to clean up his mess. Maybe I am being too judgemental (its not like he dropped nuclear waste or sewage into the street). For all I know, I might yet discover that I also have piggish habits. Only time will tell but what I know for certain now is that for the first time in my life I saw a pig in a Gucci suit, driving a 3-series BMW and turning an otherwise clean city street into a sty!